Our IVF Story | Amanda Bristow

LIFESTYLE 09.22.20

OUR IVF STORY - CYCLE #1

Who is ready for 2020 to be over?

Well, Chris and I sure are! This year Chris and I have now lost 3 babies. It's surreal to write that, it makes it feel very real. Our journey started when I had a miscarriage in March of 2020, and then shortly after found out that I have a low AMH level. Basically, what that means is that I don't have a lot of eggs left. I am only 26- never in a million years did I think I was on such a time crunch when it came to babies.

They have told us that it is unexplained infertility and unfortunately, so many women also struggle with this. I am now 1 in 8 women who struggle with infertility and because of that I wanted to share our story and be an open book with our IVF process. We were completely unaware of the ins and outs that go into IVF and I found such great resources from blogs, youtube videos, and because of that I want to do the same for others.

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So, let me back up and start from the beginning of our IVF adventure.Once we were told about my AMH levels I was instantly referred to the Reproductive Endocrinologist in Charlotte. They gave us two options IUI or IVF. After much research, speaking with a friend that has recently been through this, everything led us to IVF. Our doctors told us the success rates between the two and IVF was higher so we knew we wanted to do that one. Another huge difference as an FYI between the 2 types is cost. IVF costs A LOT more than IUI. Then we had many appointments of blood work, sperm sample testing for Chris, and genetic testing to determine if Chris and I are carriers of any genetic disorder that can be passed down. That took a few weeks and then we were ready to go since everything came back normal to begin the process.

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I want to give you tips and advice that I wish we knew at the beginning of our journey, and my protocol to help anyone that is going through the same!

Tip #1: Be sure to check your insurance, check again, and then check again.

- We were told that insurance will cover 90% of IVF. We asked them twice and they said yes we will cover 90% of the cycle. We went in thinking we only had to spend a few grand and were ecstatic over it. Only to shortly find out, that when they say they will cover 90% its only 90% of what they choose to cover. Therefore, they barely covered anything and we had to come out of pocket A LOT of money. Which not only was a financial burden, but emotionally took a toll on both of us. So- I highly recommend getting all the breakdowns of everything insurance will and will not cover before starting treatment.

TIP #2: Give yourself grace throughout this process.

-I know that sounds silly but if you want to cry, cry. If you don't want to be around friends and family stay home. This process is an emotional rollercoaster and I am here to tell you that it is okay to feel ALL the feelings. I went from crying, to yelling, then back to crying. It is okay and you will be okay. This process is hard, it tests your faith, your marriage, your finances, everything. But, give yourself grace because YOU ARE STRONG. Walking through this process I found a strength within myself that I didn't know was there. You have it in you as well. You can do shots for weeks at a time, you can get blood work and ultrasounds done every 2 days, you can get through procedures, and you can get through this journey.

TIP #3: Lean on your spouse, your family, your friends.

-My husband, wow, I can't even put it into words. I am just so grateful. I pray your spouse is as supportive and caring and loving as Chris is. He cooked, cleaned, prayed over me, and did all my shots for me because I was too afraid to do it myself. I mean you name it he probably did it. I say all of this because I could not have done this alone. My family has been so supportive and friends have been so helpful. This is a journey that you need your people. During STIMS, which for those who do not know is the timeframe when you are injecting the stimulation medication, I was SO bloated.

Like so uncomfortable and felt like crap. I don't say this to scare anyone that is starting IVF, I say this because the bloating is real. My family and friends were so great and I needed their support!

This was 5 days into STIMS!

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My protocol for STIMS:

450 Gonal F

Diluted HCG 40

HCG 100

Ganirelex Acetate 250

Trigger: Lupron

Monitoring:

During STIMS I went in for bloodwork and an ultrasound just about every 2 days. During this time my doctor was checking to see how my body was reacting to the injections and how my follicles were growing. Going in and beginning IVF, my doctor told us to expect a low number of eggs (anywhere from 3-5 eggs for egg retrieval) due to my AMH level.

We had 11 days of STIMS, which means 11 days of injections. I started with 2 shots a day and then got to 4 shots. Other then the bloating and emotional aspect, I did not have any symptoms thankfully! Once you do the trigger shot, you then will have your egg retrieval 36 hours later. Our egg retrieval was on September 5th. This is a procedure that I went under anesthesia (Insurance didn't cover anesthesia) for but it was very straightforward and quick.

Unfortunately, due to COVID Chris was not able to be there with me but he waited in the parking lot the whole time. I have heard in the past that spouses were able to stay in the room with you until you go back for the surgery. We had 5 EGGS from our egg retrieval! From there our fertility clinic told us the Embryologist will contact you on Day 1 and then Day 5 to let you know about your embryos.

After they retrieve the eggs, they fertilize the mature ones. Then they wait to see which of the fertilized eggs grew to embryos (babies) by Day 5. After the procedure, I was very loopy coming off of the anesthesia. They prescribed me a pain killer to help with any discomfort. I was extremely bloated and very sore for about 7-10 days after the procedure.

EMBRYO UPDATES:

Day 1- Embryologist called and let us know out of the 5

eggs 3 were mature and they fertilized all 3.

Day 5- (THE LONGEST 5 DAYS OF MY LIFE) Embryologist

calls to tell us that we have 2 embryos that made it to

day 5, but they are growing at a slower pace and they

need to be at what is called extended blast stage to freeze.

They told us they would call the next day!

Day 6- They call and say they both are still not where they need

to be in order to freeze them and send them for testing. They

told us to prepare ourselves for the worst because due to how

slow they were growing, that likely means something is wrong with them.

(Time out here: We are heartbroken at this point. We have put everything into this IVF cycle. Emotionally, financially, and our time and we only had 2 embryos and if they don't make it we have nothing left from this cycle. All we did on Day 6 was cry, pray and pray)

Day 7- God is a miracle worker! They called to let us know that both babies have made it and are ready to be tested and frozen. We were over the moon and couldn't stop shouting that we have two babies! We were so excited!

After this happens, they get a biopsy and sent them off for genetic testing to see if there are any chromosome abnormalities that would lead to a non viable pregnancy / miscarriage. This takes 7-10 days to get the results, from there we find out if we will move forward with the embryo transfer to hopefully be pregnant.

This is where our IVF Cycle #1 Failed.. We received a call 7 days after and were told that both babies were missing Chromosome 1 and Chromosome 2, which are the biggest chromosomes we are made up of. Because of that, both babies would not make viable pregnancies and would lead to a miscarriage.

And this is where we are at.

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We are heartbroken, confused, angry, and just about all of the feelings. We were so hopeful that we would be pregnant by the time our first baby's due date was, and here we are a month away from our original due date and just lost 2 more babies.

Unfortunately, IVF doesn't work every time. You would think it would after all that goes into it, but it doesn't. Our first cycle failed, but we are not giving up. Baby Bristow will be here one day and we trust in God's timing. Not to minimize all of the pain we have felt and if you're walking in this season right now everything you're feeling is completely normal.

Seeing friends pregnant and seeing family members pregnant is hard. I get that and know you're not alone in this. There is a community filled with thousands of women that will share their story, encourage you, give you advice, and be a support system for you.

If I can take anything away from this it's that I don't want IVF to be something that we went through in secret and I don't want you to feel that this is something to be ashamed of or quiet about. This is your story and you deserve to tell it. If you are going through infertility or a miscarriage and want to talk I am here for you. I am no expert but I would love to be able to pray for you and be a support for anyone that is struggling. We are still grieving and still hurting but we have our faith and that is what we stand on.

IVF CYCLE #2 WE ARE READY FOR YOU!

We are going to start a youtube channel to capture the moments of cycle 2, follow along on our journey!

Amanda